No Good For Me
by Ninamazing
Summary: PG because ... well ... I dunno. ANYWAYS - I am *SO* not happy with the way this turned out. But R/R anyways, please, maybe you can help me make it better!! *sobs* Horrid.


**A's N: Been meaning to do this one for awhile. And I'm not a Harry/Ginny shipper ... at least I wasn't before I got all mixed up in this confusion. But I'm really not! Anyways. I just thought more people would be able to identify with Ginny ... you know? A lot of us get into situations like hers. Harry's this ...******

**Oh. Right. You want to read. (I hope so, anyways. LOL!) And reviews are WONDERFUL ... just like the marvelous Corrs who this song belongs to.******

**Ouch ... I'm a little ways through it now ... and I think it's horrible ... but I'm gonna post anyway and see how much you guys hate it, and in turn whether I should *COMPLETELY* redo it. *sighs* Where has my muse gone?????******

* * *

_I see a home in a quiet place_   
_I see myself in a strong embrace_   
_And I feel protection from the human race_   
_It's not parental___

Ginny was in despair. Again. Again and again and again and again she had to watch those scenes in the common room ... again and again and again and again she had to listen to Ron telling the world about Harry's GIRLFRIEND ... again and again and again and again everybody told her it wasn't love.   
"Okay, I admit it, it's not love," she said stubbornly, kicking her bedposts and clenching her teeth and her fists. "It's not love." Kick. "It's not love." Kick. "It's not love." Kick. Again kick. "But it's important - important to me. Maybe it isn't love, but neither is Harry's girlfriend love! But nobody says anything about her."   
Ginny stopped kicking and rolled over to cry into her pillow.   
"I'm not angry," she whispered softly. "They're so perfect together. They're so _meant. _But I see the way he talks to her ... the way they hold hands ... and I just think ..." She stopped talking. _God, I want that,_ she thought, finishing the sentence in her head. _God, I want that.___

_But it's a fantasy, not a reality_   
_And it's good for me you have no idea___

She shoved her face harder into the soft pillow, feeling the damp spots made by her tears. _I could suffocate in this pillow. I could suffocate. _She tried to breathe, but the pillow blocked her. _I could suffocate, and maybe only Mum and Dad would care. Harry wouldn't care. I could suffocate._   
She lifted her head to breathe. "I have to get it sometime," she whispered again, with desperate determination. "I have to. I like him. A lot. Someday ..."   
_He doesn't like you at all,_ an evil little voice inside her whispered. _Not at all. He loves his new girlfriend. Now get over him. He'll never hug you ... never like you ... never pay any attention to you ... you're Ron's little sister to _him. _He doesn't care about you. At all._   
Ginny nearly screamed, then restrained herself. _Why? Harry wouldn't care if I did ...___

_That I'm walking through the clouds_   
_When you're looking at me_   
_I'm feeling like a child_   
_Vulnerablility_

He had looked at her about a week ago. Before - Ginny choked, and tears formed again. New tears.   
They were at lunch ... and Ginny'd managed to get a seat next to Ron, across from him. Hermione was next to him, across from Ron. He'd been digging his fork into a baked potato ... and looked up. And met Ginny's eyes. And smiled.   
It was like ... it was like the most incredible feeling anyone had ever felt, Ginny had thought then. It was _wondrous._ Her hands shook as she ate, and she wanted that embrace more than ever. _Harry,_ she had thought wistfully. _Please notice me now. Please.___

_I am shaking like a leaf if you move beside me_   
_And you're all that I see_   
_But it's no good for me___

Ginny thought bitterly, as she sat on her bed now, that Harry should have realized, that day, that she was serious about liking him. He should have known then that she wasn't just some little kid, and this wasn't just some little crush. _If you put words to it, it makes it stupid, _Ginny thought. _But I don't have to speak - and he shouldn't have to speak - to realize what he means to me. And now that he's got a girlfriend ..._   
She gulped. If only ... if only. If onlys and what ifs were all that she thought about these days. If only, if only, if only, if only, if only you'd smile once more ... if only, if only, if only, if only, if only you wouldn't close the door ...   
_Mum always said, when you're angry or sad, to close your eyes ... and tell yourself what you see ...___

_You have a home in a quiet place_   
_And someone else feels your strong embrace_   
_She is protected and she needs no chase_   
_And do you love her???___

She saw Harry, alone, in a spare classroom, with that girl. She saw the kiss ... she saw the tenderness ... she saw everything that she'd dreamed about these months ... happening to somebody else. Another tear dropped onto the soaked pillow. Then ... she saw Harry turning toward her ... looking at her as if he'd never seen her before ... giving her that beautiful, gorgeous smile ... deep green eyes locked with hers ... and then, she felt the kiss ... and the arms around her ...   
"NO!" she shouted, ashamed at herself. She kicked the bed again, and again, and again ...

_You're a mystery, you are the heart of intrigue_   
_You're no good no no good for me_   
_You have no idea_


End file.
